One-liners

I’m so fantastically wordy all the time.  As an exercise in brevity, I thought I’d try to fill you in on life with one-liners.  Also known as:  Let’s see how many phrases, clauses and parenthesis Stacey can jam into one sentence.

1)  For the second year running, we (I, Matt didn’t refuse, showed up and made chili) threw a kids-included New York New Year party, meaning we celebrate the New Year at 9:00 p.m. when the ball drops our time, and it was actually fun.

Sadly, we are just as drunk as we look in this picture.

Happily, they are drunk on joy and nothing else.  Maybe sugar.

2)  I’m currently reading A Dance With Dragons due to my unhealthy obsession with the “Song of Ice and Fire” saga also known as Game of Thrones, which is also an amazing HBO series and apropos of nothing but the longest sentence ever Good Lord Sean Bean always looks good with a sword.

3)  I wrote at Mamalode on Friday (as I do every Friday and I should be doing right now for this Friday).

Everything can’t be listed and counted like groceries. Friends for 25 years. Married 14 years. Five homes. Seven jobs. One law career abandoned. Three dogs. Five children born and brought home, three to us and two to women we hold tightly in our hearts.  Four children lost before they could be born. One child relinquished. Countless hugs. Numerous tantrums. Infinite smiles balanced by infinite tears. … Because of Everything at Mamalode.

4)  The Downton Abbey Season 3 premier pissed me off so much with its callous disregard for my desire to swoon over every single moment of Matthew and Mary’s wedding, and yet …  ruin! disaster! the need to buy a smaller house! … I’m still hooked (Matt remains appalled by anything involving period costume unless …)

5) … It also involves unbelievably graphic violence like, for instance, Django, the first movie we’ve seen together since Gran Torino (circa 2008), the only period movie we have ever or will ever see together, and one which I enjoyed in the five minutes that I managed to uncover my face.

6)  Garrett could play Nintendo DS all day every day and he is teenager-like in his argumentative protest against our 90-minute a day media limit and I admit there are days I have given in because he’s so quiet when he’s playing Harry Potter and parenting is hard.

7) Saige lost both her front teeth this weekend and it’s freaking adorable.

8)  The LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER 2013 season is here and auditions are happening all over the damn country, you guys, (25! cities this year), including in Spokane on February 23, so look for an audition near you and go and tell your story.

9) Hampton Noodle continues to bleed all over the damn house from the nick in his left ear, but we did give him a course of antibiotics because one of you suggested it might be an ear infection – thank you, I think it’s helping.

10)  xoxoxo. That’s technically not a sentence, but it is the briefest thing I said in this list.

11)  (This one goes to 11!)  I’M GOING TO BLOGHER CHICAGO in July.  Are you?

34 Responses to One-liners
  1. Korinthia Klein
    January 8, 2013 | 12:38 pm

    Blogher is in Chicago this year? Huh. That’s close enough to Milwaukee maybe I’ll go!

    Nice list! You are better at brevity than I.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:25 am

      You should. I would love to meet you!

  2. Alison
    January 8, 2013 | 12:45 pm

    I’ve watched the entire new season of Downton Abbey, and Stacey, let me tell you, every time an episode ends, I’m filled with a multitude of emotions, and one episode did me in, I was BAWLING. Okay, no spoilers.

    xoxoxo is totally a sentence.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:26 am

      Sigh. I admit I can’t wait til next Sunday. What about BlogHer? Will you be in Chicago?

      • Alison
        January 9, 2013 | 3:33 am

        I want to be! But it’s a long way for me to go (in Malaysia) and I’ll have to haul 2 kids under 4 on what could be an epic 24-hour multiple plane ride trip. Not enough Xanax in the world to get one through that, yes? We’ll see!

  3. MommyTime
    January 8, 2013 | 1:58 pm

    I (though perhaps also others) suggested an ear infection because that’s what made our dog bleed all over the house from her ears like a stuck pig, if pigs were stuck in the ears. I would seriously get your vet to wrap his ear completely in a bandage. It looks ridiculous, but it’s the only way to keep him from scratching. Oral antibiotics AND anti-fungal ear drops AND a bandage wrap (which is basically gauze over the wound, plus an entire roll of incredibly sticky medical tape over the whole ear so the bandage can’t be pulled off) is what finally cured our dog. We’d had two months of blood-spatter walls. It was all over in six days. Ear healed. Bandage off. Done. Good luck, and Happy New Year, my dear!!!

    PS I might come to Chicago in July…will decide soon…would LOVE to see you.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:27 am

      Yes! Thank you! I found your first comment about this.

      And about Chicago … REALLY? Keep me posted!

  4. Issa
    January 8, 2013 | 4:15 pm

    CHICAGO! YES! Cannot believe I didn’t get to hug you last year. So wrong.

    I gave up long ago on limiting screen time. Especially since mine have Kindle apps and stuff. Nothing wrong with ignoring the quiet. Ahem.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:28 am

      If I don’t check on them, it’s entirely possible they are reading 18th century literature. SNORT.

  5. Sarah
    January 8, 2013 | 4:56 pm

    Re: #7–prove it. Please. :)

    Can’t tell you how much I wish we had a LTYM in Salt Lake City.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:28 am

      Picture coming! And, you could apply to produce a SLC show, you know ;-)

  6. Sharon
    January 8, 2013 | 5:51 pm

    We should have gotten to see a picture of Miss Saige in her toothless state of adorable!

    Hope Hampton stops bleeding all over your house soon…

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:29 am

      I shall snap her. I need to record it for posterity anyway.

  7. Arnebya
    January 8, 2013 | 6:13 pm

    Like a few others, I’d love to see a toothless grinner. I’m going to audition for LTYM AND I’m going to BlogHer again this year. Sure, I have neither plane ticket nor room, but I’M GOING.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:30 am

      Put me on your Chicago list of people to meet, please!!

  8. Lady Jennie
    January 8, 2013 | 6:39 pm

    What a great picture of the two of you – drunk or not. You both look so free and happy. Don’t tell me about Downton Abbey! I can only get it one year later on DVD.

    We make the kids read for 30 minutes before they can play with their DS. Sigh. Aren’t I such a perfect mother? (snort). At least that’s the plan. They just got them, so we’ll see how long it lasts.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:31 am

      Not having Downton Abbey to watch with the rest of the world might be the first bad thing I’ve heard about life in France.

  9. Christine
    January 9, 2013 | 12:00 am

    I’m going to blogher too!

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:32 am

      Fun!! I’m making a list, it’s so darn hard to actually meet up with people there if you don’t plan in advance.

  10. suburbancorrespondent
    January 9, 2013 | 12:55 am

    Allot him 60 minutes a day, with an extra 30 awarded for extra good behavior. All parents should take a negotiating skills course, I’m thinking. In our house, if I give the kids 2 cookies as an after-dinner treat, they all whine that they didn’t receive 3 instead. But if I give them each 1 cookie, they beg for a second and are totally grateful to receive it.

    Manipulative? Yes. But I’m okay with that.

  11. Jennifer
    January 9, 2013 | 2:08 am

    I love the drunk photo – and seriously, a real party with kids AND drinking? Color me impressed.

    I am thinking about going to Blogher – even priced airfare – but I am unsure. I suck at mingling, it always turns into “awkward, party of one.” Ugh.

    • Anymommy
      January 9, 2013 | 3:33 am

      I hear you; it’s equal parts stressful and fun every time I go. And I suck at mingling too; I’m more the “sit at Starbucks and hope someone comes over” type.

  12. Marinka
    January 9, 2013 | 1:10 pm

    xoxoxo right back at you. Oh, sorry. Is that plagiarism?

  13. Loukia
    January 9, 2013 | 3:19 pm

    Yes to Chicago! Well, most probably, fingers crossed, and all that… :)

  14. anna see
    January 9, 2013 | 6:17 pm

    can’t wait to see a pic of saige sans teeth! haven’t gotten a grip and registered for chicago… i think i can, i think i can! :)

  15. Gayle
    January 9, 2013 | 7:43 pm

    You are such a happy drunk. :)

  16. Denise
    January 9, 2013 | 11:33 pm

    I think I’m going to Chicago. This is the first time I’ve ever felt the desire to go. I’m all sorts of scared and excited.

    • Anymommy
      January 10, 2013 | 3:53 am

      Oh! Fun! I’m scared and excited and I’ve been three times! Let me know your plans.

  17. Elizabeth
    January 10, 2013 | 6:48 pm

    So, I’m not going to Blogher, but just knowing you’ll be in Chicago tempts me to buzz down for the day. :)

  18. Windy
    January 10, 2013 | 8:50 pm

    SEAN BEAN. I’d watch him read the phone book…. but only if he was holding a sword.

  19. tracy@sellabitmum
    January 10, 2013 | 9:06 pm

    You’re very hot drunk. ;) Well and not drunk too. Cannot wait to hug your face at BlogHer!!!

  20. mommygeek
    January 12, 2013 | 4:56 am

    BLOGHER! I might go just to see you ;-)

  21. Lauren V
    January 14, 2013 | 2:23 am

    My W lost both his front ones this week too and I can’t believe how cute it is! I was not at all expecting the cuteness factor, lol. I think it makes him look younger somehow which equates to extra cuteness. And I am loving the little lisp! He never had a “baby voice” he went right to speaking like a 30 year old, so the lisp is extra young/cute to me too :)

  22. Roshni
    January 18, 2013 | 8:45 pm

    I wish I could go to Blogher this year! I’ll definitely try for the next. Also, can’t we have auditions for Listen to your mother in San Diego?!

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