“I don’t know how you do it.” That might be the thing people say to me the most. Besides, “are they all yours?”
“I can’t believe you leave the house!” Um, we have to, otherwise, I would have way too much privacy and I would kill several of them. Did I say that out loud?
No. Seriously. I just do, the same as all parents, I think. It’s never easy. There’s always something. I made a photo journal of how we did a trip to the splash pad. Except, I have no photos of large chunks of the morning because I only have five hands.
The kids watch Clifford while I feed babynater into a milky coma, pack a picnic and load the car. When all is ready, I turn off the TV, releasing Ess and Gee from their stupor and we load the van. That sounds like it takes five minutes but it actually takes twenty-five minutes, what with the reminding and the coaxing and the endless feet dragging and the questions (ohmygod the questions). During the loading process, I repeatedly tell myself that the morning needs to be filled with something and if it takes two hours to get into the van, well then we are two hours closer to quiet/naptime and that is a good thing and just keep breathing because you can totally have a Starbucks chai on the way to the splash pad.
Breathe.
Splash pad happiness lasts exactly five minutes before Ess has a signature snit fit and babynater decides he can not possible survive another minute without MORE MILK. There are no pictures of any of this because I’m good, but I reach my limit at nursing, giving my daughter a timeout and monitoring my other two sons in the splash pad.
No hands left for pictures.
After the nurse fest, they have their picnic. That’s peanut butter on muffins. I said I packed a picnic, I didn’t say it was nutritious in any way.
Oh! A picture. In my photo journal post. Surprise.
Thankfully, the baby continued to do this for the rest of the morning.
We do a little splashing (no pictures, not sure why) and a little play ground.
Time to go home, everyone hold the stroller please.
Babynater waves his arm to signal distress. Hello! Marginally in charge woman with the milky boobies? This seems a little dangerous. Anyone?
Okay, to the van, get in your seats. This is my children completely ignoring that
Babynater is still hanging in the stroller. It’s like he’s been left there. Free to a good home! Kidding. I’m still buckling.
My favorite part of any outing. Total containment.
Sigh. A moment of grateful silence please. Babynater is still sleeping. There is a god.
On the way home, overcome with exhaustion and hunger, I have to stop and get this.
What? I don’t want nasty muffins and peanut butter.
Thank you McDonald’s for your three cookies for a dollar.
Almost nap time. Haven’t killed any of them yet.
Quiet time for Ess and Gee. Nap time for Cue. Shoes off. Inside. Everyone use the potty. Oops. Don’t forget the baby.
Ahhhhhhhhh. Relative quiet. Only the occasional screech from the basement.
Time for a few minutes of this.
I set up my couch nest like so.
Just as I sink into that lovely couch corner, babynater starts doing this.
So, instead, we do this, while I twitter and eat one-handed.
The answer to how I do it? Barely. Just barely.
I've sort of been wondering how I'm going to do it when our third baby arrives in a couple weeks. Now I feel like I've had a tutorial, and an entertaining one at that!
This is perfect. I love your couch nest too. I totally remember my little set-up next to my nursing chair. This was before I blogged or tweeted, so mostly it was water, snacks, a phone and the remote. :-)
I took the toddler and the infant to the movies today by my lonesome, and people were looking at me like they wanted to give me a medal.
Kids are easy. Toddlers dig popcorn. Infants sleep a lot. It's all about planning, confidence, and attention. I don't let my attention slip, I'm confident that I can make appropriate decisions as decisions need to be made, and I plan in order to minimize the decisions I'll have to make on the fly, which increases confidence.
You are amazing! Most people could not do what you are doing and here you are doing it with a smile and a sense of humor.
Yeah! I love this post. So honest. "I don't know how you do it?" You've figured out the secret, you don't stop to think about it, you just DO it. Good for you.
Clifford. Boobies. McDonalds. Carseats. Where would we be without them?
Way to rock it.
Extra points to you for keeping everyone alive.
Some people constantly think about what they need to do..these people actually do very little….YOU JUST DO.
Peanut butter is full of protein. Don't dis it.~Mary
When people used to ask how "I do it all" I'd say that I just don't do any of it very well. Now that I am starting week two of being at home with the kids (last week's vacation week didn't count), I realize that I'm still not going to do anything very well. Best I can will have to do I guess…
Oh oh. What are you going to do when Baby Nater is old enough to eat cookies from McD's? The 3 for $1 isn't going to cut it.
Outings keep me sane. You make it look somewhat effortless with a new born. Nice job, Momma.
First, you are awesome because you do all this with a sense of humor intact.
Second, I have to grouse about what Bakcpacking Dad said. I have no doubt that he is absolutely right that people were "looking at [him] like they wanted to give [him] a medal" for taking his two kids out alone — but isn't it generally horrifying how often fathers get "oh, aren't you all amazing and don't rainbows come out of your behind for being such an INCREDIBLE father for taking your children someplace all by your poor wittle bitty sewf" while mothers who do this every darn day all day long mostly get "are they all yours?" and "why can't you get that one to stop crying/kicking my chair/throwing sand, you incompetent boob?" Not that Backpacking Dad isn't doing a great job, but so are all the moms who do it everyday all the time too. Okay, end of rant against Society.
Hey, it works! And it'll continue to work as long as it needs to… and then you'll be off wondering how you DID do it and what happened to your babies, and marveling at how they play so well together and you can accomplish such amazing things during the day. :)
i think you do it quite fabulously. and i totally think that someone should offer up their photographic abilities to follow you around for the entire day and supply us with a totally picture filled post. oh … but then you would probably put them to work, what with their extra hands and such.
thanks for sharing your day!
When my son was babynater's age I used to get to about 7 pm every day and rejoice that I hadn't dropped him, or lost him, or permanently damaged him. It gets better. Really. A little bit.
I'm not sure how you're doing it either….. but I'm grateful you write about it!!
I also raised 4 children, the first three quite close in age…. ( seemed like a good idea, at the time….)
But I have no clear recollection of how we all made it through alive……
This is either because I'm old…… or I'm prone to post traumatic stress disorder…..
:-)
I'm waiting for more posts in which you answer the door in your bra…. with poopy hair…… ( I think that was definitely my favorite…)
I am in awe. I love taking my kids out and I am always impressed when I manage to do so without losing one! You make it look easy and fun. :)
I am in awe. I love taking my kids out and I am always impressed when I manage to do so without losing one! You make it look easy and fun. :)
ONe tablespoon of peanut butter provides 100% if a 2 year old's daily protein requirement and I think 75% of a three year old's protein requirement. So, lunch wasn't so bad.
You are doing great. And you look fantastic. And, you made it home with all four of your kids. SCORE!
i love you for the picture of mcdonald's.
sounds an awful lot like our splash park mornings… minus two little 'uns :-)
one foot in front of the other. no thinking. Do NOT think.
right? We just DO.
xox
Lovely post. I remember my little couch nest too. Remote, water, brownies? All set!
"If it takes two hours to get into the van, it's two hours closer to quiet time." Exactly!! Everything is part of the adventure.
…just keep swimming…just keep swimming…
Yep, that sounds a lot like any time I take all four kids someplace. Except I don't manage to take pictures.
The other day I had a woman say to me, "Oh, you're THAT one." When I looked puzzled, she said, "The one with FOUR kids." Nice to know my reputation precedes me.
My mother, who raised SIX kids, was absolutely astonished when I said I actually enjoyed food shopping with all 4 of my kids. Yes, when #4 was 3 months old, #1 and #2 were on summer break. So, when I had to go food shopping, I put #4 in her stroller and #1 (7yrs.old) was in charge of pushing her/keeping her entertained. I made sure I got one of those cool fire truck shopping carts and buckled #2 (5yrs.old) and #3 (19mo.old) into that. We shopped once a week this way and it worked like a charm every time. As a matter of fact, when the 2 older ones went back to school, I was a bit lost!
How do you do it??? With some creativity. With LOTS of sweat. With determination. With some advance preparation. Some days suck. Some days are picture-perfect. Most days are somewhere in between.
You do it with 4. I bitch about it with 1. The math is not working for me. I'm going to stop complaining and just say if anymommy can do it, I can. Well, not just ANY mommy. You. Um, yeah..
Your a rock star!
It probably helps a lot that they are pretty damn cute too. You know, helps with the whole not killing thing.
I want more! Daddy wants a LOT more. Mommy said daddy can have a lot more if daddy agrees to nannys. Daddy said maybe just a little more.
Silly daddy.
My favorite? Nate stranded on the front lawn. Sooooooooo untrue! Also, food for yourself is a very precious, and underrated pleasure.
This made me laugh. Especially the part where your kids are ignoring you and you're sweating. I can relate to that this summer all to well!
Babynater is so cute!
Look at all them cuties driving mommy bananas.
I love Babynater's sleeping pose in the stroller. And I see no belly in your pic. Looking lovely, my dear.
Your Toshiba looks exactly like my Toshiba. Are they cousins?
I love this post because I have encountered that question so many times. And when asked, "how do you do it?" I tell them, "Many days, I don't." Meaning, some days I give them ice cream for an extra 10 minutes of quiet. Some days I just turn the baby monitor OFF. Some days I simply call a babysitter for no other reason than I simply cannot be around them anymore. But, isn't that what coping is? I've learned, this is all part of "doing it".
Sounds like you are doing great actually. Nice to see I am not the only one who has a corner on the couch and who stops at McDonald's every now and then for lunch to eat while the children sleep.
beautiful! and muffins w/ pbutter sounds like a delightful kid lunch.
Oh yes. And last night I found out how hard it is to eat a chili dog while nursing… another baby outfit to soak. My husband accused me of trying to shove chili beans up the baby's butt ;) but then the amazing thing happened, my husband actually took the baby and let me finish eating!!
Really, you are so brave. I have yet to attempt an outing alone. And I have one less than you ;) I have, however taken a few small trips, which didn't require leaving the car, with my 12 year old helping. I'm really not looking forward to school starting in a few weeks!
My husband used to say that once we had a newborn we knew why there was "Shaken Baby Syndrome." Not that we'd ever do that, but your honesty in this whole thing kills me and I love it.
keep on keepin' on.
It was nice of Nate to take a picture of you guys
You're awesome!
I only have two kids and I realize four is A LOT more work. That said, based on your posts, you seem so strong, I really don't wonder, "How does she do it?" You just do it because you love your kids and you want to be the best mommy you can be (without completely losing your sanity and jumping into the crazy hole).
Anywho, have a great day being a great mommy!
Well, as long as you get a blog post out now and then for your greedy readers, we'll just assume you're a goddess capable of miracles… or a magician.
you are super mom. just sayin.
Should the day come you wish to conquer the corporate world, this post could handily serve as a stellar resume for all you can and do accomplish on a daily basis. And honestly, I imagine public television will still be airing episodes of Clifford for years to come, so pipe those babies into the board room for a moment of peace!
Wos, so that's how it's done. I was beginning to wonder. LOL
Love the post, especially the pictures and McDonald's at the end.
You are SO my hero. I've only got 2, and yet I can go 5 days before realizing I haven't put the carseats back in the car from when we hauled something, because we seriously haven't left the house in that long.
:) One step at a time, right? You do it because you HAVE to do it. Running away, screaming in the night isn't usually looked upon fondly…
I loving the fact that in addition to normal regular life, you can manage a good shot in self-portait nursing mode! Where's that setting on the camera??
I had Phinneaus, aged 2 and 1/2, this weekend and I'm still recovering.
My hat is off to you!
I love it! And how have I not known about 3 cookies for $1 and mcd's??? I've been breaking the bank with milkshakes! We have #3 coming in a couple of months and this gives me hope!
While I (still, for sure) don't know how you do it, I'm not sure how I do it either, and I've just got one.
It has been a relief coming to an awareness that much of it is about filling time. Tonight we took the bus downtown (ha! try that with 4! ;)) and then wandered through the arboretum on the local campus … pleasantly abandoned (and shady) in August, so when he had a fit (I think my crime was … sitting down to eat our picnic dinner when we were near some … rocks! for exploring! you stupid mother!), I was able just to sit and munch on my cheese while he wailed (and I occasionally asked him (to no avail) (a) what was wrong and (b) whether he'd like a hug). We survived.
Also — peanut butter and muffins not healthy? Who knew?
They are beautiful. Er, the children, not the muffins.
If you keep up "barely" for long enough, I suspect that one day you'll find that "barely" has become "quite a lot," without ever seeming like that much.
Then again, what do I know? I've had two kids since K came home 18 months ago, and I don't think I've been on time to anything since then (and if I have, it was by sheer luck).
You might think you're just "barely" doing it, but then you photograph it? Holy heck, I wouldn't have thought to do that. As you said, who has enough hands?
Still in awe.
I think you do an awesome job!
Has someone made you the "yes they are all mine" tshirt yet? Because I am about to have one made for you.
You're awesome, I bite my tongue when I want to complain having two, fairly self sufficient girls.
I so hear you on the having to leave the house or there would be some killing of the kids and I only have the one peanut to deal with. The important thing is not that you do it just barely but that you do it. It gets done and everyone is happy healthy and in one piece at the end of the day
Sounds just like most of my days! But I wouldn't have it any other way!
Oh I love it , very cute post
my good friend has four young busy ones.
peoples questions just slay me!
Are they all yours? oh brother.
Oh, I so remeber those days. You are a fabulous mother! Your children are very blessed :)
Keep up the good work. They are going to have wonderful memories!
Wonderful pictures, wonderful story!
So is the trick to getting out in 25 minutes the peanut butter on the muffin, because I feel like we lean more to the two hour spectrum in this house. (There's a reason I signed my son up for afternoon Kindergarten!)
You've explained yourself well, but I still say you rock!
Your kids on the stroller remind me of the ropes they use to line kids up for preschool field trips. They're always wide eyed at all the sights, but none dare remove their hands from the rope.
Loved this play by play! I take my kids out once a week for playground time and then Mc Donalds. Do you know about my boyfriend at McDonalds?
Well you say you just barely do it but you make it look good. We leave the house every single day or else the children would implode. It's too hot to go outside here most days so we go to the mall, Target, Lowes… we spend a lot of time "fake shopping" . Mmmmmmmmm, McD's. It's like mommy crack.
Wow. I got tired just reading that. I think I need a nap!
I will not complain about my mommy duties today. I will not complain about my mommy duties today…
Crowd management. You could totally get a night job as a bouncer.
OK, I am impressed that you can get lunch packed, the baby fed and everyone in the car in 20 minutes. This takes me at least 45 minutes and I don't have to nurse anyone. You must have a better system.
Sometimes being in the car is my favorite part of the day. They are all quiet and can't go anywhere. Often I take the long way home because I know as soon as we pull into the driveway and get out of the car everyone will need something rightthisveryminute and I will have about a million bags and random items to carry in the house.
You are a saint. I hate going out with the kids. They are such little savages, aren't they? :)
So that's how you do it, you survive by just doing it.
We had three kids this weekend on vacation and we never got anything done. But they all survived and had some fun in the process so it was all good.
I am tired just reading about it. *yawn* Oh, wait… never mind… that must be the pain meds talking. Heh.
I agree with everyone above …BRILLIANT !!
But you accomplished so much. My day isn't so different, I just might copy you and do a photo journal through the day….I am low on Blog Fodder anyhow.
I am in awe of you! While I am not a Roseanne fan, years ago on one of the late night talk shows she said "if my husband comes home and the kids are alive I've done my job" – we all have days like that. You make it look easy, fun and your descriptions of life? Always entertaining! Thx for sharing them.
oh and to think I feel overwhelmed with ONE! AY, you put me to shame my dear. I have just turned to me and said, "buck up Jess and stop acting like a total pussy". Phew I needed that
Um, I don't know how you do it. Your day sounds like mine, with only two: a toddler and an infant. Goodness.
Slow and steady, eh?
Love the photo montage. So that's how you do it. Breast milk and cheeseburgers.
You should have your own reality show. I'd totally delete my Jon and Kate timer and replace it with an Any Mommy one.
You can claim humble pie but I think you are magnificent and fantastic and an uber mom in the realest, bestest, flawed and gorgeous way.
I love the gaggle of youse guys. Plus your cute husband in his heinous shirt.
Hey, Thanks a million for the post of the week shout out.
xoxo,
Ann
And you think this is crazy? Wait till the teen years! ;-) Sorry, couldn't resist as I sat here nodding my head "yes" all the way through this post. Nothing like eating cold fast food, is there.
Your post reminds me of the day I was walking with my 18 month old, insistent on pushing the stroller, while passing a parking lot. Several people commented on getting no-where fast! So true and I was completely cool with that because I had let go of a time line. He was happy to push, I was happy to have him occupied until nap time. Life got soooooo much easier for me when I let go of time. Kinda like the time we read the same book over and over and over for 45 minutes! And I thought toddlers had a short span of attention, not my boy.
Your writing helps me to remember I am not alone in my mothering tribulation. Thank you so very much for sharing!
I don't know – you still make it look too damn easy! Color me impressed.
I caught myself yesterday thinking the, "I wonder how she does it" line when we were at the library. There was a woman there with four kids, maybe 6, 5, 3 and 1.5 – and she was pregnant. She does it somehow because those kids were all pretty well behaved and damn cute. Sound familiar?
Also? The dragging feet and the questions? WHEN does it end?!?!
I always go somewhere in the morning too. It makes the day go soooooo much faster.
is babynater flipping us off?!? heh. you're a rock star & i wouldn't expect anything less. we just do it. we do what we can with what we've got. are we always our best? no. but we love them with wild abandon & they're dreaming sweet dream at night. i couldn't ask for much more from my 4 beauties.
I could have written this. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one who lives my life this way!! Great post, you gained a new follower!
this is such a sweet post. and, about the shirt? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ooops, my comment was meant for the birthday boy post!!! ack, sorry :-)
That is how I get everything/everyone packed and strapped in. "Once in car, can find drive through…iced coffee…just get seatbelts buckled…"
And do you ever get all of your kidlets strapped in and just close the car doors (with AC running, of course) for a moment and just stand outside of the car and take…deep…breaths?
"Total containment" – that's MY favorite part of any outing, too, and I've only got ONE. It's like a miniature mental breather.
Ahhh… I so get it… though w/o the McD's… and the boob attachment. :)
Yay, someone who lives my life with four and a van and who eats Macca's…I so know how you feel!!!
great post
You are effing amazing.