Tag & Thank you.
Honest scrap number three. I’m combining number three with the Fabulous Award that Gayle at The White House sent my way. Thanks Gayle, I think you’re fabulous too! The award asks you to confess to five addictions.
I’ve already written about my grande, nonfat, extra-hot, no water, chai tea latte addiction. Starbucks only please. Nobody does it better.
Chocolate. Preferably in cake form. Moist, but not soggy.
Shoulder and neck massages. If I’m ever a millionaire…no chef, no fancy house, don’t care about cars. A personal masseuse is what I want.
Movie star jeans. I go on a pilgrimage for a pair every year. Totally worth it, it’s all I wear. Well, with a top, but any top looks good with movie star jeans. I get my tops at Old Navy. If you don’t believe me, set aside a few hours, go to Nordstroms (a big one) and try on some obscenely expensive denim. AGs or Citizens of Humanity or Joes. Try them all. Unless you just hate jeans, you’ll love it. It’s like a religious experience. Find the perfect jeans for you and then BUY them. Angels will sing. I have a pathetic wardrobe and I never do my hair, but most days, I feel okay because dammit if my ass doesn’t look pretty good in my jeans.
Current kiddy addiction – blowing Bubble Yum bubbles while they watch. I love they way their little tongues follow my tongue’s movements while they all stare in rapt attention like I’m the Super Readers or something.
I don’t usually do this, but I’d like to hear some other fabulous bloggers’ addictions. Insta-mom? Maura? Norwindians? For Myself? Anything to confess?
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Trivia.
Nice. Kym from I’m A Smart One (if you’re not following Kym and her incredible family and her surrogate journey with Chance and Apollo, well, you are missing out on a heck of a story and this is the week to join them) started strong with ten points for Rime of the Ancient Mariner and Marbury v. Madison. Mommymae was the first of many with the correct movie – Chicken Little.
I have nothing today. We spent four hours at the pool this morning and I am t-i-r-e-d. How about I play the ultimate lazy card and get you to help me with two trivia questions that are driving me crazy? What? No? That’s cheating? Well, it’s my pointless trivia game and I’ll be lazy if I want to, lazy if I want to, lazy if I want to, (you would be lazy too, if these kids happened to you – aha, there, who sings the original for five points. I don’t even know, I have to look it up).
Two other things I don’t know. There’s a children’s chapter book about a brother and sister that live in a museum for a few weeks. They hide from the guard in the bathroom. They discover that a new statue is an undiscovered Michelangelo. Anyone? Please. Five points and my undying gratitude.
I don’t really expect anyone to know this, but my kids came home for the long weekend singing a new bible song and it’s driving me batty. Not that they’re singing, or that it’s a bible song, but that this is the sum total of the lyrics they remember: “BOING, BOING DAVID, BOING, BOING DAVID, BOING, BOING DAVID and five little stones he took.” Then the singing stops in favor of enthusiastic sling swinging reenactments.
I assume it’s a song about David and Goliath and the first line of the song is not actually BOING BOING DAVID. Anyone heard this one at vacation bible school maybe? Please tell me the real lyrics because I don’t see the SDA ladies until Wednesday and even then, I’m not sure how to delicately ask the nice church ladies if they are teaching my children lewd bible songs. (Sorry, when I was a preteen, to boing someone was to, well, you know, it wasn’t to kiss them.)
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Crappy, inattentive parenting.
Gee: (incoherent screaming)
Me: (not turning from computer) What happened Gee?
Gee: (incoherent screaming)
Me: (still typing) I can’t understand this. Use your words.
Gee: I fall. The FLOOR HIT ME!
Me: (didn’t really listen, assuming it’s his sister) Oh no! That’s not nice. Tell her how you feel.
Gee: No thank you floor. I feel sad when you hit me.
Me: ?? Did I miss something?
Oh my heavens, I think this is my lucky day! No one is here before me and I actually know something. I KNOW SOMETHING. I think.
If the song lyrics you’re adapting are “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,” it was sung by Leslie Gore.
I haven’t been tagged to do anything in quite a while, so I’m honored. I’ll ponder it and see what I can come up with — hard to keep up a woman of mystery persona if you have me spilling all my secrets, you know? ;-)
And since I am, by god, going to take advantage of being up later than everyone and my mad search engine skillz, I am going to grab for still more points and tell you that the book you’re thinking of is “The Mixed-up Files of Mrs.Basil E Frankweiler.”
I’m so happy I’m about to cry.
Ha ha ha! You shall all tremble before my persistence as I TAKE OVER the comments for once and come up with the other five points!! [Insert mad laugh here.]
The song is “Only a Little Boy David.” And it goes:
Only a little boy David, Only a babbling brook.
Only a little boy David, and five little stones he took.
Only a boy named David, Only a little sling,
Only a boy named David, but he could pray and sing…
One little stone went into the sling, and the sling went round and round. One little stone went into the sling, and the sling went round and round.
Round and round, and round, and round, and round, and round, and round. One little stone went up, up, up, and the giant came tumbling down.
(I kind of like the boing boing version better. I have to go lay down now, I’m exhausted.)
I’m the bubble-blowing superstar in our house, too. My daughter almost has it…and she’s nice enough to share her Bubble Yum with me. Love that stuff!
I’ve been pretty emotional lately, little things cause me to burst into tears. Crappy Inattentive Parenting brought tears to my eyes and I was dying of laughter, this is no uncommon feat
Plus, now I don’t feel so bad about keeping the Kipper DVD on repeat while getting my Friday feature put together. It’s good to know that it’s OK for a little me on the computer time during the day.
Ahhhhh!!! It’s a total sweep. Maura rocks it with Fifteen Points!
That is the book and even better THAT is the SONG. They absolutely sing the ‘and the giant came tumbling down’ part, that’s the only other line they know.
Well done, superior google skills indeed.
JH – They are just watchers so far, I’m afraid they’ll swallow the gum. I know they will actually, but the tongue miming cracks me up.
Damn, late to the party. I loved that book. I even caught a few minutes of the movie version on tv recently.
LMAO! “Crappy, inattentive parenting” is the story of my life. I’m trying to think of a way to refer to the “the floor hit me” without sounding like a crazy mom who spends all her time reading blog posts. Not that that would be off the mark.
Dagnabit! I knew 2/3 of those! That’s what I get for not checking blogs before I went to bed at 1 am last night. Enjoy the lead for now, Maura…I’m comin’ after you! :)
Okay so…the next time your kid starts talking to inanimate objects, you know it will be in public right? That’s the prime set up for parental embarrassment. :)
I had to laugh reading about those jeans. My wife for the longest time, resisted buying “good” jeans because she thought the price was too much. But then she did, and one of the first things she said was “Wow, these fit so well” quickly followed by “These look goooooood!” (and they do, whew!)
Shhh…I shouldn’t be blogging, my van is dead in my garage and I’m ‘doing something’ as opposed to my hubby who has irritated me completely about it. Then, I see someone beat me to it, I was going to tell you what the book was. Oh well, have a good day, it’s bound to be better than mine.
Hmmm, I might have to go ahead and steal this and confess a few addictions.
First I’ll need to figure out what I’m addicted to – other than the internet, of course.
You really have to watch out for those nasty, spiteful FLOORS. They reach out and SMACK every unsuspecting little toddler from time to time.
Good job using your words, little guy.
BTW, I was ROBBED of my opportunity to answer the “From the Mixed Up Files” one. Robbed, I say!
Freaking floor.
The walls at my house have a tendency to jump out and smack my kids’ heads…
I am so with you on the masseuse. I would a neck and shoulder massage daily and a full body once a week.
A friend of mine always buys movie star jeans. She goes to Nordstrom and finds the brand and size, then she watches Bluefly.com for them to go on sale.
my hubby has expensive jeans, but i don’t. in my defense, i’ve been having babies for 6 years. now that numero quatro is here and i’m getting back to a non-pregnant size, i’ll be hitting the shops for a nice pair instead of the $25 old navy ones.
Totally out of the goodness of my heart, I decided to step aside and let someone else win. :-) Ha! ACTUALLY, I was on a wonderful date with my hubby for my birthday and didn’t even check the internets before bed {wink}. This morning = lazy Sunday morning, so I completely missed the party. I would have known the 2 song questions, but not the book one (it sounds fun though!). Mo has amazing Google skills.
The floor story? Completely cracked me up.
And now I want some movie star jeans. I think I’ll add them to my “reward list” for when I’ve lost all the weight I want to lose.
I’m going to have to go on a hunt for some movie start jeans. I’m sure it’s not really the jeans, but you being skinny but I’ll hunt anyway. Old Navy rocks.
That floor is MEAN.
Four hours a the pool? That sounds fabulous but I know the reality was probably way more stressful with three small kids to entertain/keep from falling in.
The crappy inatentive parenting made me laugh – sorry!
I have always said the same thing – if I was rich I would have a massage every day – nothing better.
I wish I could find the perfect jeans. I think I find them then get saggy ass syndrome.
The only thing better than designer jeans is a gay man in the dressing room telling you just how good you look! I LOVE shopping!
My son loves for me to blow bubble gum bubbles and have him pop them all over my face. Probably not the best lesson in manners, but it keeps him from drawing all over the walls and his little sister.
I thought your “Crappy, inattentive parenting” story was hilarious. When I was small, it was my mom who would hit the inanimate object.. ie if I hit my head on the table, she would yell at the table for hitting me to make me feel better. Oddly, it did and whenever I hurt myself I’d go running to her to get justice.
Also, my roommate’s uncle did this with her until she was in middle school. For some reason her uncle must have forgotten how old she was.
I love how you have your children so well trained that they will express their feelings to the floor if you tell them to! I dream of that kind of power ;-)
I do the once a year movie star jeans thing too. Joes is a favorite. And then a few months later I am a different weight and they are either too big or too small. But I carry on wearing them because even when they are not flattering they still look good :-) I really recommend it.
what a mean floor! LOL :-)
I love your addictions – esp. the chichi jeans. I couldn’t agree more about the need for good ass – price be damned!
I LOVE the inattentive parent moment. That’s so… classic. And umm I could see myself having that exact conversation ;)
Missed the points again, but that’s ok! I may need to try the jeans thing though. Really? They’re that much better than the clearance ones I get from the juniors section at Target or the rummage sale at our local elementary?
Okay, I’m convinced about the jeans. I have finally figured out that if I took all the $20es that I spent on clearance jeans and pooled them, I’d have at least one pair of really really good jeans that actually fit.
Also, I have to say that the time difference is KILLING me with the trivia here. I was so excited to know the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler but of course, it was all asked and answered long before now…
Maura, you are my hero.
i LOVE the mixed up files. it is on my goodreads favorite book list. i have my copy from childhood. i always put ‘gone to the mixed up files’ when i delete poems on my blog.
As soon as I read the description of the book I thought “I remember that book!” and then I thought “I hope someone knows what it was called!” So then I came to the comments and am now happy that I can put that book on the list of books I must share with my children. Because I just started an actual list.
I love your crappy, inattentive parenting.
I actually know one of your trivia questions! The book is “From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler” and I loved reading that book in 4th grade!
I don’t know any of the trivia questions but Gee saying no thank you to the floor is cracking me up!
I think I may be guilty of inattentive parenting. You broke what?…
My addiction would have to by childre… well, that is when I’m not blogging or reading blogs..
Yay, I’ve my priorities perfectly stright1
i knew one of the answers but I am too damn late. As usual.
love the hell out of Gee.
That damn floor jumps up and slaps ME once in a while…
I’m not even gonna read through the comments, because I’m sure someone’s already beaten me to “From The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiller”…LOVE IT!!!
Second, how do I NOT know this little ditty? I feel sort of ashamed that I’ve never learned Boing, Boing, David. That’s the kind of stuff I pride myself on.
Sad, isn’t it??
i hate it when i go out of town and miss answering trivia questions! i have 2 copies of “from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiller” just waiting until my kids are interested in reading it. xo
Thanks for prompt. I have been uninspired of late. ;-)
I played along.
"No thank you floor! I feel sad when you hit me!" Is one of my favorite quotes ever.