Three years ago today, my first born, my middle child by two months, my oldest boy was born. I wish I could say three years ago today I went into labor, but that happened three years and two days ago, on October 10, 2005.
Before his pregnancy, if asked, I would have sworn that I wanted a highly medicated birth experience with as many interventions as necessary to keep me from feeling any pain. Fate pushed things the other way. Pushy Bitch.
We moved back to the island of Saipan when I was six months pregnant. In my imagination, my calm and medicated birth took place in a hotel-like hospital room, shiny and new, with all yucky medicalish torture implements hidden behind a pretty pastoral picture on the hotel-room-like wall. I knew things were rougher on Saipan. The hospital is basic, clean and safe, but basic. No pretty birthing rooms that look like hotel rooms, no high tech tours, no epidurals for normal births.
“What? Back up.” I gave my crusty, weather-worn, ex-peace-corps family practitioner, Tony, the evil eye. Tony has lived on Saipan since 1973. He has delivered more babies than God. You know, if God delivered babies, rather than just creating them.
“Well,” Tony explained, calm and rational, “there are only two anesthesiologists on the island and they need to be available for real emergencies. Surgeries. We can’t have them tied up with trivial things like child birth.”
He may not have said ‘trivial things’ but I was almost seven months pregnant and this is my story. No fancy room, no epidural, but I had a good attitude. I became more and more attached to the idea of natural childbirth. “I can do it,” I told Matt, nervously. More like: I CAN? DO? IT? I am woman, hear me scream bloody murder.
Garrett was ten days late when I finally went into labor. My salt-of-the-earth, ex-peace-corps family practitioner wasn’t worried. In fact, he informed me at my 41 week appointment, that I only measured about six days overdue. Oh. SIX extra days. No problem then. In case any of you decide to become a laid back, salt-of-the-earth family practitioner in the next few years, for your own safety, you do not quibble over four days with a 41 1/2 week pregnant woman. If I say TEN days overdue, it’s ten days overdue. Period.
I started contracting at about 10:00 p.m. the night of October 10. The contractions were regular, but mild, and I spent the next eight hours wandering around our house feeling vaguely excited. In the morning, we bumped and jolted down our unpaved, rutted driveway to the hospital in Matt’s Jeep, laughing, exuberant and exhilarated. Today, we would be parents. Or, two days from now. Details. Clearly, I wasn’t in active labor quite yet.
Saipan’s labor and delivery ward is run by Fijian midwives. They are large, authoritative woman who are not impressed by laboring mothers. They checked me at the door, almost literally, I think if I would have let them stick a finger up there and check me at the actual door, they would have, and agreed it was labor, but early labor. The Fijian midwives told me to take a walk. Or thirty. Actually, they signed-languaged me to take a walk, since they don’t speak English and my Fijian is rusty. I asked when I should come back and they signed something vague about feeling actual pain.
Hmmmmm. I walked until 1 p.m. I was hungry. Tony showed up to check on our progress and I’d achieved a whopping 5 1/2 centimeters of dilation in fifteen hours of labor.
Tony: You have a long way to go, but you’re making progress.
Me: I’m hungry.
Tony: You should keep walking.
Me: I’m hungry.
Tony: I have to go back to the clinic for some appointments, but I’ll be back to check on you in a couple of hours.
Me: I’m hungry. I want a hall pass. I’m hungry.
Matt: I think we should stay here.
Me: I. AM. HUNGRY.
Tony: You can leave. Just be back to be checked by 3 p.m.
We went to McDonalds. I had a chocolate milkshake. I still remember it being one of the creamiest, sweetest, yummiest milkshakes I’ve ever had. That and that it was really weird to be in labor in the Saipan McDonald’s drive thru. From McDonald’s, we went home for an hour and Matt gave me the stink eye until I caved under the pressure and agreed to go back to the hospital a little before 3:00.
We ran smack dab back into the Fijian midwife wall at the L&D door.
FMW: (making the universal fingers-walking sign for walk) Walk.
Me: How long?
FMW: Until it hurts you. Come back when it hurts you.
Me: It hurts a little.
FMW: (shaking her head in disgust) No. Walk. (Exaggerated fingers walking.)
Me: Sigh.
Matt: I guess we should walk.
Me: At least I’m not hungry.
We walked and walked and finally, a little after 6:00 p.m., Tony breezed in from his yacht club meeting. I kid you not. He checked me and offered to break my water. Sure, I told him. Anything to quit walking. I have been walking for 21 hours now. Tony went into my vagina (too graphic, sorry, my story) with a horrid little hook and broke my water.
Ten minutes later, I had my first contraction. Because everything before then had just been for giggles. For the love of God. The pain. The horrible, nauseating, excruciating pain. I sobbed. The baby surely must be coming NOW. The FMW smiled. Yes, she nodded enthusiastically, now. Yes. Labor. Huh. Dear god, make it quick.
Garrett, my love, it is at this point in the story that I passionately and sincerely began to hate your father and for the next few hours I continued to hate him. Don’t worry, he redeems himself later. The Saipan hospital L&D ward is a bit old-fashioned. Right in the middle of it, there is a huge whiteboard where each patient’s name and status and vital information is written when they are admitted. The FMWs keep it updated throughout your stay with interesting statistics like centimeters of dilation.
Matt, apparently, got bored with my endless labor and excruciatingly painful contractions and amused himself by following the board, like his own personal betting pool in Vegas. He would periodically check it to see who had been admitted and how many centimeters they were. Then, he would report back to me with encouraging, loving words like, “Stace, I KNOW you can beat this one, she’s only 2 centimeters dilated.”
A few minutes later, Tony would rise creakily from his comfortable spot on my birthing ball, pat my leg and depart to deliver the woman’s baby. The woman who had been in L&D less than an hour. After the third one, I bit off Matt’s head and told his bleeding neck stump that the board was not to be mentioned in my presence again. Like EVER.
Five hours later, hoarse and exhausted, I had achieved ten centimeters dilation and had permission to push. I remember seeing the clock and registering that it was a little after 11 p.m. Oh, I thought, he’ll be born today, then. October 11. Aha.
I pushed. And pushed. And pushed. For three and a half hours, I pushed. And screamed. I pushed and screamed and cursed quite a bit, I believe.
“You almost there. Just one more push.”
15 minutes.
“You’re so close. One more like that.”
30 minutes. Three other babies were born down the hall.
“That’s perfect, just one more big one like that.”
15 minutes.
“That’s it, you’re so close, we see the head when you push like that.”
15 minutes.
“You’re almost there, Stacey.”
“NO! NONONONONONONONONO!!!! I am not almost there. You’ve been saying that for hours. This sucks. I’m tired. I can not do it. ICANNOTDOIT.”
“Come on, you’re doing so well, don’t you want to see your baby?”
“No. I don’t want the baby. I might hate the baby. But, not more than Matt. I don’t want it. I just want to die. Do you all hear me? I no longer want a baby. The best part about this entire day was the stupid chocolate milkshake.”
But, my body betrayed me and I pushed one more time and, just before 3 a.m. on October 12, 2005, Garrett Russell entered the world. He had a really, really, big, horribly misshapen cone head. In his defense, he spent three hours in the birth canal, which is a pleasant euphemism for IN MY VAGINA.
At the moment of his birth, his father said, “oh my god, he’s huge, I’m so sorry,” which might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I forgave him for everything, the board, the island, being alive, everything. I forgave you too, Garrett, my perfect, gorgeous, miraculous, first-born son. Because you were better than anything I’d ever done or seen or held or achieved before that day. Better than my whole life up to that point put together. Better than a million chocolate milk shakes.
Yes, that little hat is hanging from the point on the top of his alien cone-head. What of it?
Happy Birthday, G-rama. We love you.
*****************************
This is my third and final birth story. Quinn’s came first, my baby, born in July. We already had a baby girl on the day Garrett was born, a beautiful two-month-old baby girl, but she was still living in an orphanage in Haiti.
I adore birth stories. Tell me yours! If you already told me one on Quinn’s birth post, tell me another one. If you don’t want to tell your story, you could read about Marinka’s c-section or the birth of Kate’s twins or Psychmamma’s scary, but ultimately happy experience. Go on, it’s the miracle of birth. You know you love them too!
A happy birth story!!
In 1998 I started the ‘infertility experiments’on my body and then into my mind and life. After many years and what I later learned were 4 ‘pregnancies’ on paper, I was declared- really pregnant- your number are great! You are progressig perfectly! June 16, 2002 I was scheduled to have my first OB appoimtnent to hear the heartbeat of my baby! My numbers were amazing-the nurses said.
June 15th at 9 pm, I start feelig BAD, by 10 pm I remember crawling to the bathroom, at 12 am, in the ER I am bleeding internally; nearly dead from a burst ectopic pregnancy. Of course,I do not know this as I am completely drugged and prepped for surgery.
When I wake up, I ask about the baby; is he okay? He? I would not know. He was gone.
The deep grief and the guilt I had for not being a good host for this little soul where all consuming. I dreamt of him, growing, laughing a baby.
November 15, 2002- I am contacted by our adoption agency; which was plan B, C, D…if I could not have a baby. We had been chosen by a ‘TummyMommy’ for her baby.
My baby, had he been born would have come into this world in March of 2003.
And yet, I met my son, warmly cradled in his birthmom’s tummy, baking and basting. She was 8 months pregnant and due on December 22, 2002.
On December 24th, we all went to a movie and had dinner. Kim, my son’s TummyMommy, ATE some food and then complained of stomach pain. Surely, just too much food. Christmas Eve…a huge storm comes through Florida.
Christmas Day-5:30 am the call comes, Kim is in labor. Are you serious? I am going to be a Mom on Christmas Day?
December 26th….well, as I now know, Garrett my now five year old son, was not coming until he was ready.
1:18 pm on 12/26/08- this golden, glowing, angel, beautiful spirit, looked at me. He looked right into my eyes and I knew; this was the plan all along.
He loves to hear his birthday story, how he made all the doctors, nurses and other babies cry when he entered into our world. He loves to know that even though my tummy was broken that Kim had a good cooker for him to grow. He loves to know that she is still in his life, she loves him and he is the most special of all angels to me.
I think of my littlest baby, trying so hard to grow in hostile territory, how he struggled and gave his life so my Garrett could come to me. I miss him, I still get sad that he could not come to me. I thank him too.
Garrett now says, that he did not come on Christmas day because he thought it would be better to be different. He was waiting in the ‘clouds where babies wait before they are born’and then when the time was right he ‘flew down with angel wings to give his body a spirit.’
My son is all that there is that is good and right. He is the sun and the moon. He is the reason that I have the honor to be his Mom.
Oh yeah- the actual birth process; it was rather painless for me…:) Except for the blood vessels I broke while pushing as I coached Kim in labor. She is my hero!
Nancy
HeartMommy to Garrett
Thanks for the links to all the other birth stories, but this one was certainly enough for one night! Happy birthday, G. One day you will read this post and appreciate your mother a lot more.
Happy birthday, G. You are truly a gift.
Labour with our first was preterm and fairly speedy for a first baby. Our second child was a precipitous birth, and no one was quite prepared for it. The nurses actually didn’t even believe I was having contractions initially, and then they thought it was just early labour and that I was over-reacting. How wrong they were!
The story is fairly long. I posted it over on my blog. It’s here, if you would care to give a read. Just don’t hate me for the ridiculously short labour … trust me, it was excruciating.
What a story! That board bit reminded me of Rachel from Friends, where new women keep coming in and giving birth and she’s still there not progressing at all.
I never actually wrote mine down but they’re both whoppers – enough to scare you celibate (think: breaking hospital beds, unwanted epidurals later accidentally ripped out, birth in a car, mother left standing in the parking lot ALONE with various unmentionable bits dragging on the ground SINCE SHE HAD NO GODDAMNED PANTS ON and they FORGOT to bring her in to finish the birth after rushing inside with the baby, emergency medical treatments and life-threatening conditions for the baby, you name it…) See, I told you I could scare someone into celibacy ;-).
that was an incredible story! Frankly, I’m too EXHAUSTED after helping you give birth, so my story will have to wait until i have the energy!
I love birth stories! Happy Birthday, Garrett. I never realized Gee and Ess were so close in age! Oy!
I tried and failed the ‘link to this post’ feature, so we’ll do it the old-fashioned way. Here’s my story:
http://shesjustanothermanicmommy.blogspot.com/2008/03/dont-stop-birth-story-carnival.html
(and I totally want to hear Robin’s stories.)
So funny. You always make everything so funny! Happy birthday to Gee!
I too love a birth story. Here’s a link to mine. It’s much to long for the comments section:
http://oscarelli.blogspot.com/2007/08/oscars-birth-story-jennis-perspective.html
Wow. My vagina aches just reading that. I may need a milkshake or a dozen to recover.
Absolutely amazing. Thanks for posting. And happy birthday, mom and son. Oh yeah, and dad, too.
Oh my gosh. I need a drink after reading that. You are my hero.
Happy Birthday to G!!!
Happy Birthday Garrett! :) MK’s birth story is pretty plain but was still amazing to us… checked in the hospital at 12AM on 6/9/05, got hooked up to IVs and took some Ambien (yay!) to rest for the night. OB came in at 8AM, started the pitocin and…well, we waited. About 1030AM contractions were enough to make me holler (not holla at ya, just HOLLER) so the epidural arrived. Ahhhh! Then…well, we waited. I told my family that it would be like that but they insisted on hanging out all day which is fine and good but by about 5PM I told my husband to tell them all that it was time to turn cell phones off and stop talking. By 6PM we told them (kindly? I don’t know…don’t care…I was having a baby!) to go out for a while. By 730P my epidural was wearing off and I was definitely making progress on dilation. By 8P I was ready for some more of that delightful numbing potion; my best friend later told me that she heard the anesthesiologist and the nurse talking in the hallway and the anesthesiologist said “nope…she’s too close… no more!” in a cheery tone. Um, thanks? Good thing no one told me that or I may have crawled out there to discuss it with him myself. At any rate, by 825 my OB arrived after finishing up an emergency C-section, and he immediately gowned up. My best friend Alix was in the room along with my husband Jeff and Al’s eyes got wide when she saw how fast my (our) doc was moving; she’d had two babies before and she could tell this was it. Me? I knew it hurt (HOLLER!) but was clueless as to how close I was. I pushed for three sets of three pushes and poof, out came beautiful McKenna at 839P, weighing 6lbs 2ozs…a peanut! She wasn’t breathing properly at first but that resolved so quickly that we didn’t have enough time to freak out and she was snuggled up on my chest within minutes. Best day of my life… sigh. Makes me teary going back to it.
So, after that boring reminiscence, I beg you Robin, TELL YOUR STORIES!! :)
Happy Birthday! What a wonderful story. I laughed at the white board–we didn’t have that, but my hubby did the same thing with the labor monitors that were in each room so the nurses could watch other patients while in one room–Hey! Her contractions are much bigger than yours. It’s a wonder I didn’t throw him out! I’ll have to think about birth stories. Thanks for sharing.
beautiful. you have me in tears…
I too love birth stories! Yours is amazing. Happy B-Day G!!
Here is the link to our “birth” story.
http://lifewithmurmer.blogspot.com/
2008/08/happy-birthday-anaelizabeth.html
(get rid of the return)
This is the story of our daughter’s adoption last year.
WOW! That is an amazing story! You poor, poor woman. I was in labor for 17 hours, and my doctor scared me into agreeing to a c-section.
Oh how sweet that Garrett ALMOST has the same birthday as Mister Man. And actually, had I not had the c-section, given that I was still at FOUR FREAKING CENTIMETERS after 21 hours of labor, had I been in labor 100 years ago, he either would have been born on October 12 most likely … or I and he would have died in childbirth. freaky to think about, really. (And yep, my story is up as of yesterday)
It’s funny to me that I wanted the natural childbirth until I got into *real* labor and went all medicated and you wanted all medicated and were forced into all natural.
Oh and you look depressingly skinny and lovely in your pictures. There’s a reason I have no pictures of *me* anywhere near birth posted.
Happy Birthday, Garrett!
happy birthday G!
what an awesome story.
after having two natural births…i feel like i could really do anything. i know that everyone is different…but it makes me feel very strong. and that’s ok~
i’ll share sooN!
Happy birthday G! I am exhausted hearing this. My birthstories are different, because I wasn’t in the room when either of my children were born. Henry’s mom pushed him out in 30 minutes. Reesie’s mom, well, she took 78 hours in the hospital to get her out. Poor gal. Thanks for this! I loved hearing about your experience in such a personal way.
Heartmommy – I am so sorry about your experience with infertility and your harrowing ectopic pregnancy. You went through so much. How incredible that you and Kim and Garrett got to experience his birth together. I am so thrilled that your story has a happy ending.
Trish – I believe you, my second one was quick, but just as painful! I’ll be there, I have a little party to attend today ;-)
Robin – I saw a little mention of your terrifying experiences on Marinka’s post. I think you need to work on some posts for us. You should share, get it out, let us be amazed by you!
Manic and Jenni and Nels – I’ll read every word. We are an hour out from a bouncy train party, but then, I’m going to settle in for some story reading.
Nissa – That’s why I love these stories, they are never boring. Thanks!
Mom24 – Yeah, grounds for eviction.
Michelle – I didn’t know they were that close, I can’t wait to read all about it.
Jenboglass – Awesome that you could be there. I wish I could have been there for my daughter’s birth.
What an amazing experience! I love hearing birth stories! I would relay mine here, but they would be way too long and boring ;) especially compared to yours!
Loved the story – thanks for sharing. I needed that today – a good cry over something very beautiful. I, too, felt like I could do anything after I had my first vaginally. It’s hard to explain the slight disappointment you have when your next 2 births are c-sections. I was ecstatic to have 2 healthy babies but it is amazing to push a watermelon through a small opening. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. All births are miracles and it is fun sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.
Happy Birthday, Quinn!
Here is Evan’s birth story:
http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2007/03/evans-birth-story.html
And Corinne’s:
http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2007/03/bump.html
And I still need to write Justin’s…
Another great birth story! I loved Quinn’s. I think we can all talk about our birth stories forever without getting bored. I always say that if you ask me about my wedding, you’ll get a few minutes of cake, flowers and dresses. Ask me about my births, and you’d better pull up a chair – we’ll be here a while…
What a strange and happy birth story. I don’t know what I would have done if someone told me to keep walking. The McD’s was a nice touch, my favorite (and worst for me) food. I was starving during both of my labors and then immediately puked my guts out after both deliveries. Nice, huh? I actually wrote about my second pregnancy/birth here: http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?p=430
I’m cheating since I don’t feel like retyping it! ;) Happy Birthday to that adorable little redhead (which is perfectly normal and non-coneheadish).
i love birth stories and as they go that’s a pretty good one…
happy birthday to your little one!
Stacey – I have to post on this one – since I can picture the room, the whiteboard, and especially the Fijian midwives – in their navy scrubs. Thanks for the wonderful reminder. Has anyone told you how strong you are? I hope so, because that was not an easy birth – and you did it! Gee and Ethan belong to a special club – those with the very unofficial-looking official birth certificates from the place hardly anyone has heard of.
Happy 3rd birthday Gee!
-Kristin
I’m late on this, but happy birthday to G! What an amazing birth story! And you looked great after the delivery!
I remember that right before my due date I was very concerned that the hospital wouldn’t allow me to eat during labor. I was pissed about that policy and was determined to get around it because I am GRUMPY when I am hungry. I told my husband that he WOULD sneak food to me. It ended up not mattering because I had an emergency c-section 2 weeks before my due date. Oh well…
I could totally go for a chocolate milkshake right now!
Happy birthday Garrett!
I love that story. But after your’s and Kate’s I’m kinda glad I haven’t given birth.
I’ll be telling the story of Bunny’s adoption at the end of the month on our second anniversary of Gotcha Day. I may even replay the whole trip to China just for kicks and giggles.
You crack me up! I’d almost forgotten about the chocolate milkshake…Love and Miss YOU!
I LOOOOOOVE your birth story posts – thanks again for sharing them!!!
Also, not on this topic whatsoever, I am finally catching up on my blog reading, I had all your new (to me) posts open to comment on, aaaaaand then my computer crashed. And just in time for me to actually get to work, with no time left to re-open them all. All this to say – I had more to say and hopefully I will get back here to say it…
I loved this story. I adore birth stories. Although I am so glad I didn't read Garretts before Alex was born. Cause ouch. You are a brave woman. See, I would have been like, see ya, I'm going back to the US until this kid is born, cause I needs me some drugs.
I wrote Alex's story. Nata's was insane. I went into labor at 9:30pm, barely made it to the hospital and up to the L&D and pushed twice and she came out so fast that the doctor wasn't ready and almost dropped her. Also, she was a boy until she was born. If he was a betting man, he'd have gone to Vegas (100% a boy) was his exact words to me. Cocky ass doctors. But we didn't care, she was born perfect at 11:37pm on July 18th, 2004.
Maya's is a bit hazy, but it has been almost seven years. (that and I choose to forget it.) I was only in labor for seven hours, but I had to push for nearly two of that. I had an epidural, but it didn't really work.
Oh I did mean to say that when my doc told me, you are not really 10 days overdue, I might have gotten the day wrong and you are only 6 days overdue, I wanted to shoot her. It doesn’t matter really. But you just don’t say that to an overdue woman. Just start this shit going, don’t make me want to punch you.
I’ll give you the shortest birth story I have. I was pregnant with my third baby and was 10 days away from my due date. Really tired of being pregnant I decided to take matters in my own hands and mixed some caster oil into some chocolate milk and chugged it down. (I had heard when pregnant with my second, this induces labor sometimes and I tried it…worked like a charm…started contracting an hour later) Hoping I would go into labor, I settled myself into bed for the night and fell asleep. Not long after that, I started contracting…about 11pm. Only the problem was I didn’t realize it. I thought I was just experiencing stomach pain from the caster oil. After spending the next many hours on and off the toilet (which is what threw me off) cursing myself for trying again…and when I could go #2 no more, I realized what was going on. It was almost 8am by now. I woke my hubby up and he got in the shower. I laid back in bed to wait for him. As I lay there I felt something trickle down my leg. I thought my water broke, but I was bleeding. I was like…ok…gotta go. I kicked my husband out of the shower…got in to quickly clean myself off while he called my dad to come over to take care of my first born. While in the shower, my mucus plug came out…and I said…we have to go the hospital NOW!!! My dad lived about 7 minutes away. I was waiting in the car in a total panic while he lolly-gagged his way over. I kept telling my husband to JUST GO!!! My daughter was asleep in bed…she would be safe for a few more minutes alone until my dad arrived (she was three). My husband wouldn’t leave (he was still rational) and as soon as we saw his car coming we took off to the hospital. My husband ran EVERY red light on the way there and we made it there in about 6 minutes. The nurse was trying to go through the triage routine while I am breathing like crazy through my contractions, not able to talk. She said, maybe we should get her into a bed first…umm, you think? They wheeled me in the room, stripped my pants off, helped me into bed and she was born 7 minutes later. They didn’t even know my name! Everyone was in a panic because they didn’t have anything ready for a delivery!
We called my dad and he was like yea right…and we were like, no really!! And he just started cracking up.
It was actually super scary and I vowed if I had any more kids I would NEVER do the caster oil thing again. I read later that it is actualy really bad for the baby and very dangerous so for all of you pregnant moms out there….DO NOT TRY THIS!!!! I was lucky. No one was hurt in my foolishness :)
How about Denise having Carson in the exact same room. That of course is where the similarity ends except for the fact they are both boys.
We entered early in the morning and were on the maternity ward before noon if I remember correctly. His was almost too fast!!)
By the way you looked better than Matt did the morning after having little (Big) G!
I love how you made it funny. Great story! How much did he weigh?
“I bit off Matt’s head and told his bleeding neck stump that the board was not to be mentioned in my presence again.”
Seriously, Any, that’s the funniest sh*t I’ve ever read in a blog. EVER.