A Sonnet to Bathtime

Can it possibly be Wednesday again already? The Great All Mediocre Giveaway of 2008 is still going strong. Check it out! It’s open to every one. Since we’re not traveling the blogosphere at All Mediocre while Meghan gives away fantastic prizes, I’m taking a break from spinning you tales of my past travels as well. But, I can’t send you away with nothing to show for your visit. That would be rude. I offer you a poem, like a rose in my outstretched palm. Godspeed.

A Sonnet to Bath Time

Bath time how I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height
Your grunge can reach, when scrubbing out of sight
For the ends of clean toes and butts and face.
I hate thee for the poop and pee
Placed in thine water, it’s just not right.
I hate thee freely, as babies strive to drink.
I hate thee purely, if I leave, they sink.
I hate thee with a passion put to use
In exuberant splashing, the bathroom’s put to waste.
I hate thee with a hate I cannot lose
Despite my children’s love of thee — until the end.
Screams, tears, they lack not breath! Without some booze,
I think that thou shalt truly cause my death.

Anymommy (1973-?)
[With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)]

20 Responses to A Sonnet to Bathtime
  1. Robin
    July 30, 2008 | 6:38 am

    When I first read the title of this post I thought it said A Sonnet to BATMAN. Boy was I confused as I started reading…

    I think mommy needs a very large pot of coffee this morning.

  2. Tracey
    July 30, 2008 | 11:46 am

    That was brilliant!! Very well done. Your intelligence amazes me. :)

  3. therapydoc
    July 30, 2008 | 12:06 pm

    That’s not bad! I’ll visit often. You got a rave from Marinka on Jack’s blog and I followed it.

  4. reneedesigns
    July 30, 2008 | 12:13 pm

    That is great and so true. Which is why Bubs handles bathtime most nights. I can’t even imagine what its like with 3.

  5. tz
    July 30, 2008 | 12:38 pm

    I have to say I’m a bit glad that stage is over for me…except I still have to do behind the ear spot checks…

    and your last post…I too feel there’s a huge difference between the mommy I want to be and the mommy I am…but then there’s a difference between the person I want to be and am…the student I want to be and am…I’m just a work in progress as we all are ;)

  6. iMommy
    July 30, 2008 | 12:42 pm

    Cute! :-) I’m not one much for poetry (except my own 16-yr-old angsty poems, of course) but that wasn’t a bad read!

    Can’t say that I hate bathtime, though – we kind of like it around here. But she’s only 2, and we’ve only got one so far — so maybe it’s just too early to tell!

  7. Michelle
    July 30, 2008 | 12:54 pm

    Oooo, I love that one! Very nicely done. And I’m glad I’m not the only one hating on bathtime. That’s why I make my husband do it!

  8. Melissa
    July 30, 2008 | 12:56 pm

    Well done!

    And bath angst doesn’t end when they get older. Sure, they do it themselves, but I always have to ask, “Did ya use soap? And shampoo? How about rinsing?”

  9. 'That Girl'
    July 30, 2008 | 1:44 pm

    Bathtime is soooo much better now that they’re a little older, in fact, they play in there forever while I clean up or do my bathroom stuff or talk on the phone. It gets better honey.

  10. Marinka
    July 30, 2008 | 2:33 pm

    I’m so impressed by your ability to rhyme

    Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

  11. Andrea's Sweet Life
    July 30, 2008 | 3:13 pm

    Great job! I personally love bathtime – even though I do occasionally have to clean up a lot of mess. There’s only been poo involved TWICE, thank goodness!

  12. Mama Ginger Tree
    July 30, 2008 | 5:52 pm

    You are brilliant.

    My only issue with bath time is that I can’t figure out how to give someone a time-out in the bath tub.

  13. EatPlayLove
    July 30, 2008 | 5:58 pm

    how fun and sweet. We leave bathtime up to daddy in our house, saves me all those feelings!

  14. Christy
    July 30, 2008 | 6:22 pm

    Very cute! Personally, I love bathtime, because my husband gives the kids a bath!

  15. anymommy
    July 30, 2008 | 6:26 pm

    I think you all are onto something. AnyDaddy needs to take over bath time. This is why I love blogging.

    Robin – A Sonnet to Batman would be interesting.

    Thatgirl – Talk on the phone. There’s an idea. If I dropped the phone in the tub, would it electrocute my children?

    Marinka – Show off.

  16. merideth
    July 30, 2008 | 7:40 pm

    “if i leave, they sink.” lol! if any of my neighbors were outside right now, they’d think i have lost my mind laughing out loud all by myself. and now timmy’s laughing right along with me and he didn’t even read the sonnet.

    i don’t mind bathtime. i spread a towel on the floor to catch all the splashes and take a book, magazine or laptop in with me (and my camera), sit on the toilet lid with my feet propped on the potty seat lid. it’s *almost* like an hour to myself.

    mama gingertree – i wash my little guy first and then let him play. if he doesn’t follow the rules, he gets one warning. after that, he gets scooped right out and forfeits the privilege of watching the water go down the drain. works like a charm.

  17. Jennifer
    July 30, 2008 | 8:00 pm

    Bravo! Bathtime is Daddy-bonding time at our house. I usually need a break by bathtime. ; )

  18. Jennifer H
    July 30, 2008 | 10:20 pm

    Brilliant!

    I will breathe the biggest sigh of relief when my daughter (the youngest) is able to wash her long, curly hair all by herself. Life gets easier after that. (My son handles his bath on his own.)

  19. Kate
    July 31, 2008 | 1:54 am

    I have a love hate relationship with bathtime. Mostly hate now…too many kids…to much splashing…too much protesting…Sometimes I just let them go to bed dirty.

  20. A Mom Two Boys
    July 31, 2008 | 10:33 pm

    Adorable! And to one of my favorite poems! We were MEANT to be friends!

    And here’s to next week when this damn giveaway is OVER and life is back to “normal”!

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